Having It All

by Annabel

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credits

released June 9, 2015

produced by Evan Weiss
recorded and mixed by Matt Jordan
co-recorded with Matthew Frank
mastered by Doug Van Sloun
art & design by Andy Hendricks

recorded June 2014 at Atlas Studios and Emaciated Raiden Studios in Chicago, IL

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Annabel Akron, Ohio

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Track Name: Another Day, Another Vitamin
everyday another day like the other
nothing really out of the ordinary
taking advantage of certain situations
but only when they're part of my normal routine

i'm making plans
and setting appointments
marking all the dates down in my calendar
i'm keeping busy
and staying active
hopefully everyone will be proud of me

people that i know are used for reference
examples that i can try to follow
reminders of what's in my best interest
things i can try out for myself
a sense of purpose or a sense of humor?
whatever's most convenient at the time
putting myself into the best position
if i can just get the proper help

i just want everyday to better than the one before
from now on

everyday another day like the other
nothing really out of the ordinary
Track Name: The Fortunate Ones
yeah, i've got hesitations
and mixed feelings
about pretty much everything
unfortunately
i've always got somewhere else i'd rather be
even when i don't think about consciously

i'll never doubt it
but i'll never know
if i'm really one of the fortunate ones
i'll never doubt it
but i can't be sure
if i have been in the right place all along

i don't mean to take for granted my opportunities
but there's always multiple ways to look at anything

i'll never doubt it
whatever happens, happens
i'll never doubt it
unless something drastic changes
i'll never doubt it

i'll never doubt it
but i'll never know
if i'm really one of the fortunate ones
i'll never doubt it
but i can't be sure
if i have been in the right place all along
i'll never doubt it
but i'll never know
if our house will ever feel like our home
i'll never doubt it
but now i know
there's not much i could about it anyhow

i'll never doubt it
Track Name: Days In Between
there's not that many
spaces in between
doing much that's not considered
daily activities
we could be more wise
using our vacation time
it's always fun while it lasts
but there's not always a next time

i am running behind schedule
late in every instance
or sometimes not there at all
because of other commitments
i missed my graduation
and a few reunions
and that one anniversary
i miss everything
Track Name: Having It All
all my memories are hanging in frames on the wall
not much else i have to show for what i've done
i just wanted the acceptance of my peers
and not to feel like i've wasted all these years

i don't want to die before reaching my goals
and becoming more well-rounded
nothing unreasonable
but it never was about us having it all

it might not be what i want
but it's more than what i've earned
getting compliments and rewards just for trying
maybe my standards are high
for what i get out of life
i guess i should keep more of an open mind

i don't want to die without reaching certain goals
and becoming more well-rounded
nothing unreasonable
but it never was about us having it all

i don't want to die without reaching a few goals
exhausting every option
and choosing the best one
but it never was about us having it all
having it all
Track Name: On The Importance of Disappointment
well, i've always had
quite an imagination
inventing alternate scenarios
before they happen
upcoming events
play out in detail in my head
they all seem so easy to replicate in real-life

and my predictions
have always produced mixed-results
second-guessing often comes with the territory

oh well
now I know
my life is not my own
oh well
now I know
there’s not much left in my control

as the saying goes
you only get what you give
but from own my experiences
that's just an expression

oh well
now I know
my life is not my own
oh well
now I know
there’s not much left in my control
Track Name: Everything
sentimental for everything
even the moments still happening
places to be
people to see
in my memory

I’ve been trying to compare
things not even related
finding similarities
between things not really there
but not everything should need
to have any meaning

it’s more of a general feeling
than anything really that concrete
and if there is any common theme
it’s that most things never come easily
Track Name: Ex-Introvert
i've been rehearsing all night
my best impression of myself
but it needs more work
i've realized that i am
just a collection of thoughts and feelings
set in motion and animated
with certain tendencies to communicate
i see some patterns in my behavior
i could probably fake it if i wanted to

i might discover a new side of me
think I might be starting to be
who i've always hoped to be

self-aware to an extent
my inner monologue speaks for itself
“oh you're just so introspective
and quiet”
that might be debatable
i guess i'm hard to get to know
i don't want anyone
to think I’m not concerned
about others in return

i might discover a new side of me
think I might be starting to be who i've always hoped to be
i might discover a new side of me
i just wish it would come a little bit more easily
i might discover a new side of me
just by doing things that i probably wouldn't usually
i might discover a new side of me
even if I don’t really feel any differently
Track Name: How To: A Self-Help Guide
i made up my mind yesterday
to start living a certain way
i'll exercise
I’ll meditate
I’ll have more things to celebrate

it’s always easy to downplay
what I can’t coordinate
I could blame it on how I was raised
but i know that's just not the case
Track Name: For Years And Years
every year will seem more
important than the one before
I understand your concern
but sometimes they are out of order

now that we’re all that’s left
there’s only each other to impress
but most things are said
better when in person

I know
what we ought to become
in the long run

it's not supposed to be
simple, easy or straight-forward
but i know you'll figure out
whatever i sing about

you are mainly concerned with
years, decades, and centuries
I’m just trying to get through
mornings and afternoons

I know
what we ought to become
in the long run
the same as what everyone else wants

we could live anywhere
as long as my name will still stay in the family
there’s still so much to prepare for
i'll start making progress
when i have a reason
and when I’m done being myself
i want to believe that I’ll still have a purpose
i want to believe it
i want to believe it
i want you to believe it
Track Name: Nothing Good Gets Away
i wish that love was all that i wanted
but we all seem to have our distractions
i already have most things that i could need
but that doesn't mean they will be easy to keep

I'm so lucky to still have my health
i've got so many friends and good contacts
i was thinking of everyone
i was thinking of everyone
but i guess every now and then
i should be thinking more of just you

i don't always stay
24 hours in the same state
i don't mind being in an unfamiliar place
on consecutive days
part of me knows that (i'll do my best to explain)
i can't have it both ways (and that will never change)
"having it all" is such an empty phrase
because nothing can fill every space

i'm not able to always be here
I’m not able to make it easier
i'm not able